PSSSSSST!!! SEND IN THE CLOWNS!!! IT’S A CIRCUS OUT THERE!!!
The Hong Kong Jockey Club hires a lion tamer because of the number of roarers in stables.
Meanwhile, hot on the heels of the need for an official report on The Book Throwing Incident involving two trainers, many are trying to make sense of the recent Stipes Report on the David Hayes trained and Zac Purton ridden race favourite Star Contact.
After all sorts of red herrings and another chorus of “Here We Go Round The Mulberry Bush”, finally mentioned after an “exhaustive search” reported was that the galloper was found to have “blood in the trachea”.
Could this perhaps have had something to do with the rather disappointing run instead of the reported circle game that went on and on and on before getting to the point? Duh.
It’s announced that Zac Purton is suffering from acute symptoms of the dreaded Instavangestels, something first detected in racing in New South Wales!!!
The rather LOUD lady from Tabcorp heard every Saturday on the Dead People’s Radio station finally discovers how to use a microphone!!!
THIS TIME, CASIBAH THROWS THE BOOK!!!
Leading Trainer Caspar Fownes reveals a new method he uses to mend the ways of wayward gallopers and errant owners: “I throw the book at them”, says Casibah. “I was taught this exercise in restraint by my bestie (Trainer) Michael Chang”.
SHOCK!!! DAVID HAYES NOW ALSO LOSES HAIR!!!
Trainer David Hayes is asked by well known Hong Kong feng shui master Blind Man Chan to shave his head bald to turn around the terrible run of outs from his stable.
The Australian Fall Of Famer is said to have shed more strands when he watched his former charge- Straight Aaron- absolutely demolish his rivals on Sunday for new trainer Caspar Fownes.
HONG KONG TRAINER MANFRED KL
MAN FINALLY MEETS MANFRED MANN!!!
THE HONG KONG JOCKEY CLUB AND JOAO MOREIRA INTRODUCE THE INAUGURAL RUNNING OF THE HELLO, HONG KONG HYPOCRISY CUP!!!!
IT ALL GOES BIRDIE NUM NUM!!!
It all starts to sound like a murder of crows with Australia’s racing and sports radio stations seemingly upping the ante and bombarding the senses with 30 second ads for Aussie Punting Battlers, non stop messages about more and more new betting options, more appearances by the Red Belly Man with his ads and tipping strategies etc etc.
All of this all this makes those new 5-second throwaway anti gambling advertisements- “You’re about to lose”, “Win some, Lose more”- sound limp, pointless and irrelevant, especially when lazily plonked in all the wrong places during “normal programming” and which falls on deaf ears.
It shows that people with the responsibility of trying to help cure those with a gambling problem couldn’t care less and are failing miserably and spectacularly with their efforts.
Could all this be the precursor to something that’s on its last legs?
Could this something’s inner workings be finally being revealed to be what it’s always been- shallow, hypocritical, political and nothing more than those with self serving agendas busily feeding the beast of greed?
HONG KONG RACING INVADED BY AUSSIES, POSSUMS!!!
With more and more Australians involved in horse racing arriving in Hong Kong and drawn to its two days of racing, easy access to Happy Valley and Shatin racecourses and a Group 1 Michelin star lifestyle plus 14 percent in taxes, included are a couple of names supposedly once turned down by the HKJC for “integrity reasons”.
It’s no surprise to hear that expected soon in Hong Kong will be Ric McIntosh, Bernard Saundry, below, Mick Gatto, the Tobin Brothers Funeral Homes, Mick Dittman, Gary Lo, Peter Miers...
MAKE WAY FOR THE BOB!!!
Fed up with listening to the voice of the Timmy bloke on Tabradio still going on and on and on about the Quokka, the poet laureate of Western Australia Britney Taylor and her ode to the Quokka that ends with a thud and the word “debacle” etc, businessman and important horse owner Bob Peters creates a slot race, names it The Bob, buys up all slots and writes his own poems.
To give race meetings that include those dreadful all-dirt roundups, the Hong Kong Jockey Club brand these as Captain Fantastic and The Brown Dirt Cowboy.